Oh baby baby it's a wild world

I hate my birthday. Seriously, I really do. I'm not entirely sure when that started. I only remember one birthday from my childhood, a backyard party at our home on the military base in Japan, and that memory is very pleasant. I remember my 16th birthday, eating at a Chinese restaurant in California with my birth mother, step dad and step siblings after I had just moved in with them and attempted to see if I could live happily in their home. It was awkward, my step dad kept complaining about how much it was going to cost and how they couldn't afford it, my step siblings were cranky and rowdy (that were 2 and 5 years old). My mother spent the evening complaining about how stupid and apparently incompetent her friends were (her favorite past time of all time) and there was a dead roach on my coke that had green maraschino cherries in it. Yes green, and no, they aren't as good as the red ones. Maybe that's when it started, I don't really remember. I moved back to ...

In a post on Facebook, a friend shared how a thought he had written for a main character in his book series, a thought written 14 years ago, when revisited recently provided insight he needed to be reminded of, I posted the following incredibly long comment (better suited for a blog format, hence the post). But ... But ... Just as I conveyed to him, my soul is equipped with what I need to heal it. I've been struggling in several areas lately and it's been affecting the peace inside my soul and I've allowed it to penetrate into my both professional and personal relationships. I've allowed a negative ripple in my soul to not only ripple through myself, but also through the soul of others.  He needed to hear what I had to say in response, and I needed to assemble it in writing because that is one of the most honest ways I communicate with my soul (and I'm not alone in that). I needed to write this, to remember this, to feel this and release the things that are weighin...