Why school is failing my children by letting them pass

3 calls from 3 schools. Before noon. BEFORE FREAKING NOON!! Not just 1, not just 2, but 3. 3 calls.  Did I mention it was before noon? Yes, yes I think I did.  Did I mention I was at work? No? Oh - I WAS AT WORK!  ON THE PHONE ... with work ... and 3 schools.

First call was the nurse at the oldest boys school.  Very polite and perky cheerleader voice ... but she's an idiot.  Not a bad call, except having to listen to an idiot.

Not more than an hour later, I get a text from the girl child saying she received not 1 ... but 2 ... 2 detentions today.  She's made it to 11th grade without ever having had a detention.  Seriously.  Not because she didn't deserve them, but because her teachers have no spines.  Ok, some of them have spines, but some just do not.  To know the girl child, you must understand she's  bright, and I mean bright.  Highly intelligent in academics and every area ... except domestically.  Seriously, she's horrible.  She can't wash a dish or keep a room clean or cook a decent meal to save her life.  Outside of that, she is genuinely bright and witty. However, her high intellect seriously interferes with her ability to be respectful of authority she does not view as respectable.  Which in simple terms means - if she thinks her teacher is an idiot or incompetent or lazy, she's a real pain in the ass. 

Her 8th grade science teacher spent entirely too much time on the phone with me explaining why he should give her a detention.  He spent more time telling me why he should give her a detention than actually reprimanding her for her detention worthy behavior.  Smart, Witty and Pretty, that's my daughter.  Smart,Witty and Pretty also means smart ass.  She was nothing short of rude to this teacher.  He was easily fed up by her antics and had no problem sharing that with me.  About the 3rd time he called me threatening to give her a detention if she kept being a rude smart ass in class, I told him I cannot believe she STILL has not received a detention.  In way nicer words, I told him he needed to grow a set and send her smart ass to detention.  I practically begged the man to give her a detention, but no matter what she did, he never did.  He continued to allow her to set that example in class, he continued to allow her to walk all over him, he continued to allow her to have the upper hand and he made it quite clear that she was the one in charge of that teacher/student relationship.  HOW FREAKING SAD!

BUT, to a degree, I understand.  Because parents are assholes.  They really are.  Because entirely too many parents are seemingly incapable of seeing their children for who they really are.  Little assholes.   It's true and you know it, you just don't want to say it.  While I absolutely love my children and am so proud of their amazing vibrant souls and I am so proud of their many accomplishments and genuine hearts - they can be entirely too many shades of ugly.  So since parents can't see their not so innocent children for what they really are - when a teacher punishes a child for an intentional infraction, asshole parents throw a toddler tantrum demanding a teachers reprimand and job for holding their child accountable for their little asshole actions.  That's not fair.  It's not fair to the teachers.  Parents need to quit being assholes, and raise their children to not be assholes.

All that being said, Mr 8th grade Science teacher had no spine.  Every teacher she's had before and since had no spine. Granted, it's rare.  While she's certainly a witty smart ass, she's an amazing student, academically and socially and her teachers consistently praise her - so she doesn't have a teacher she hates often. 

Anyhow, shortly after the text messages from the girl child saying she received 2, yes 2, detentions, I get a phone call.   Her Anatomy teacher explained the girl child had been sent to detention.  She told a story of a girl who is very well behaved in class, and well liked by her peers apparently just lost her shit today.  She didn't say lost her shit, but it pretty much sums up 5 minutes of that conversation.  She relayed that the girl child had an outburst and blamed her teacher for her assignments not being completed, then she mentioned the girl child cursed, in class.  Yup - give that kid a detention.  It bothered me tremendously however, that she spoke to me as if she needed to justify her actions and apologize for sending her to the detention room.  Not only that, she stated, "I think Mia likes me.  I think something might be going on with her because usually she likes me."  Ummmmmmm, the hell?  I don't give a crap if my child "likes" you, and why do you care if she "likes" you.  She doesn't have to like her teacher at all, she only needs to comply and behave - it's really that simple.  

That woman did not owe me an apology for sending my child to detention.  But because parents are assholes, she defended her actions, attempted to justify, then worried if my child liked her.  Yeah ...no. That's absurd.  My child was inappropriate and deserved a consequence.  While Mrs Apologetic Teacher annoyed me - finally, finally someone has NOT failed my child.  Someone finally grew a set and taught her a lesson.

For every teacher who did not give her a detention when she deserved it - YOU FAILED HER.  You failed her in the real game of life.  You failed to set a precedent.  You taught her that if she's smart and witty enough, that if she likes you enough and can get her peers to turn on you because she's just that smart and manipulative - that she can get away with it. You've been letting her get away with it for years.  You failed her in life because you failed in teaching her how to deal with her next boss.  While you Mr & Mrs teacher are her today influences and authority figures, she'll spend way more time working for Mr & Mrs Corporate America than she will under the protection of the walls you call a classroom.  In life, she'll treat her superiors (who she has deemed inferior) with the same attitude she gave you.  She'll get fired, because you failed her.  Because out here in the adult world, the world she'll live and work in, she can't act that way and get away with it.  So when you DON'T reprimand her, when you don't hold her accountable for her actions, you're failing to set a proper precedent for the world she'll live in for the vast majority of her life.

Stop failing my kids.  Stop allowing asshole parents to walk all over you because their asshole children aren't accountable. Help me raise them the right way.  You're in their village too, and I need you to support me by teaching them accountability.

Now it's past 9 and I'm about to open my 3rd beer and finish decompressing for the day so phone call number 3 shall be the continuation of why public school is failing my kids in tomorrows post.