I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey. I am a huge fan of total money makeover. I am a huge fan of good financial decisions and accountability, so I'm in a Dave Ramsey Facebook group. If you're unfamiliar, Dave Ramsey has a financial plan comprised of baby steps, that is actually realistic for the average family. It requires sacrifice and discipline and lots of support. Occasionally a member reaches out for advice and today a momma shared the guilt she feels at not being able to provide the summer vacations and outings her children's friends are going on. She shared her frustration and asked - How do you strike a balance between wanting to create special summer memories for them while you still can, and not going deeper into debt?
Here was my response:
((I share this for 2 reasons - to support those who, as Dave says, live like no one else now, so they can live like no one else later and because I absolutely love sharing every single bit of my parenting journey to help remind parents they're doing a great job and to spend more time in grace with themselves than guilt)
You’re not going to see it for a while - but you will.
We had four children and one income for years. Then I was a single mom for a few years and still struggling. I felt like I had missed out on giving them so much as I looked around at what their peers around them were doing.
They’re now 24, 22, 19 and 16. They have never ever said - I wish we had done “x” instead of “y”. The things they remember the most often shock me. They don’t even remember when I had to work on their birthdays, holidays, or Christmas. They remember the balloons and donuts they woke up to that I left for them, before I headed to work, to celebrate their special day. They remember the one time the whole family got the flu and we made a huge palette on the living room floor, kept the tv on 24/7 and we all ate, slept and napped all day for a week, and how special that was to just all be together.
They remember the cardboard boxes they made forts out of. They remember the park we’ve been to a million times and all the happy memories they made there. They remember the time we got caught in the rain at a splash park and realized how silly it was that we ran, from the rain, when we were already there to get wet. They remember that I used to make little bandanas from napkins for their slurpee so their tiny hands wouldn’t get too cold - they don’t remember that a weekly slurpee treat was all we could afford.
I promise you - the only thing that matters that they’ll remember is that they were loved.
In our tougher years, we also would do challenges to see if we could do a family outing for $10/$20/$30 - whatever small amount we had in the budget. We had a lot of fun and found free activities in our city all around us.
You got this! You are creating special summer memories, and one of those is giving your kids the security that you’re making good financial decisions for your family’s continued success.
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Parents, it's a journey and all our journeys look different. Spend more time in grace, less time in guilt and enjoy every single moment.
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